Well I'm not dead if anyone in the big world is wondering.

Been awhile since I posted, and can't really say for sure if I will be able to post on any kind of routine any time soon.

Can say that I am back to seeing a councilor, (Which is a new one, I got to see my old one days before she was leaving for another job somewhere else.) Hubby told me I needed a reality check. Which is why I'm back to seeing a councilor at least 1 time a month. Get to see the p-doc soon. (Which is new one, a male this time, my old one also left the clinic.) hmm, I guess 3 different p-docs in 8yrs isn't to bad for a clinic since the 1^st one didn't leave he died of a heart attack.

Jamie, I hope you have came by to read my post. Because I will tell you the truth, haven't really had time to keep up with your posts but I did read todays and read more trying to figure out what you were talking about. LISTEN TO AMY, she is the one that is at your side, she is the one that sheds tears when your not looking because she doesn't know how to help you, but she is and will always be there for you. THAT IS TRUE LOVE.

Ok, now I'm going to talk about God( That Great Mysterious Being of Nature)

I have been doing my own talking to God a lot lately. You might remember, that my hubby said he wanted to start going to church.

Well, it was also around that time that I started work. So he was taking the kids with him to church on Wednesday night.(I want you to laugh.)

One Wednesday night the kids were being to loud, and one of the members of the church told him he had to leave. (LOL) I did have the sense not to laugh in hubby's face when he told me what happened.

My poor hubby was trying to be mommy and daddy at that time. I made a point of dragging my sleep deprived butt out of Bed Sunday and we all went to church. My hubby wouldn't point out who it was that told him he had to leave, but I think it was cause he knew I was going to give that person a preaching of my own.

Needless to say there are many people who are in the world who think they are doing GOD's work by quoting verses, and tell other people they are going to go to hell if they don't change their ways, but what they are in fact doing is not GOD's work. They are judging people, and doing their best to save their own butt.

Jamie, I know your road is even more harder then mine, and I want you to know your in my prayers.

I also want to share a story with you.

It took me a long time before I would talk much about my car wreck, and some things I just couldn't remember until years later.

But I will tell you when I woke to find my self in the hospital the first thought that went through my mind is why am I alive? This can't be my answer.

You see I had gotten myself in a pickle I was in love with two men. 1 was in the army and would be returning soon, and I had been talking with God asking him to guide me for I knew I had gotten myself in the mess but I sure the heck didn't know how to get myself out of it, moments before I was in the accident.

Up to the moment that I woke in the Hospital, I had unwavering faith in God. I knew because I had turned to him he would guide me through it. Don't think for a minute that I understood why I was in the hospital bed, and how it could be his answer to my problem.

What I was, was angry, and hurt, and I didn't care if it was a miracle that I survived. At the time I didn't have a clue that everyone else that had been in an accident where I had mine had died.

I look back in that time and can only shake my head, that I had became so reckless with my life, and I know now the only way I survived that period in my life was by pure will of That all Power Being of Nature.

He/She is there for anyone who but turns looking for him/her, and even in the darkest hours looking at the end of a pistol tasting the gun oil. He shows his power by sending one to stop me before I pull the trigger. (I've only gotten that close Once, haven't been brave enough to touch a gun since.)

I don't know about you, but I know God will never let you know who dump anything on us that we can't handle.

I know before the car wreck that every bad thing that happened to me was a bit of knowledge gained, that allowed me to help another person later on who was struggling to get through a similar bad experience.

I will be the first to admit I've not been much help to anyone since the wreck.

If it wasn't for my mother I would never leave the house.

I know this illness isn't God's doing.

I am a RARE, UNIQUE CREATURE OF NATURE, THERE ISN'T ANOTHER ONE LIKE ME IN THIS GALAXY.

There isn't another like you, Jamie.

Find comfort in knowing those who try to judge us today will soon come to be judged by the Almighty One.

842

So I’ll say.
Thanks for stopping by and reading my ramblings.
Thanks for leaving your mark.
Hope you have a good day, evening or night which ever may be your case.
bb

Hey,
It was really good hearing from you, I had been wondering about you, I am glad to see you are doing ok.

Thanks for the post, it has really helped. I know you know how this illnes can be & our spouse see us at our best & worst times. I am glad you have a husband who is there for you & I know I am lucky to have a caring wife.

About the person who told your husband he had to leave the church reminds me of a joke.

A guy would keep going to this church but they wouldn't let him in because of the way he looked.
One day the man prayed to God & said God I have been trying to get into this church for weeks & God says don't feel bad, I've been trying to get into this church for years.

I hope you get to see your pdoc soon & I hope your new tdoc helps you out.
I hope to hear from you soon. Have a great day!!